my first week back to work

(my two favourite people)

What a week. The night before my first day was hard. I didn't sleep much, and I was so anxious about leaving him that I actually felt sick to my stomach.

When we got to work in the morning, I was so busy that I barely had time to think about Cohen. I pumped halfway through the morning in a corner of our office. I couldn't wait to see his little face at lunchtime. The hardest thing was leaving again after lunch. I just wanted to stay with him. The second hardest thing was the short drive home after work. The car had barely stopped moving before I jumped out. I didn't put Cohen down for the rest of the night.

Our sitter told us that Cohen cried hard for twenty minutes or so in the morning when he realized we were gone. He cried himself to sleep while she rocked him, and then he was fine for the rest of the day. Same for the second day. I could tell he had been crying because he started to cry in the evening and his voice was hoarse. Our sweet little baby with a hoarse cry. Heartbreaking. On the second day, our sitter brought Cohen in to work for a little visit. He was so calm and happy in her arms. It really made me feel so good. And I was so happy to see him. I can't even believe how much I love that little guy.

Note: We never actually found a sitter. We met with lots of potentials, but nothing clicked. Two ladies had cats that were moody. One lady actually told us that her cat "can't be touched or he will lash out". We weren't sure how we would be able to relay that to a baby who will be crawling soon. One lady said she hates changing diapers. One lady didn't look at Cohen once during the entire interview. Another potential seemed perfect, but she suddenly left the province due to "domestic issues." A few said they wanted something full time (I only want to work part time right now). Sooo, our receptionist, who we love, is watching Cohen. She has been visiting Cohen since he was five days old, and she is so warm and loving, and I can tell she loves Cohen. I don't think I could have gone back to work so early if I didn't feel so good about who we are leaving Cohen with.