Jon had a course in Moncton in May, so we decided to all go and stay at the hotel right by my sister's house for a few nights. Jon was at his course all day both days, so my sister and I tried to keep the kids as busy as possible with a visit to the zoo, some time in the hotel pool, and playing at her house. It's weird to look at these photos, because behind the scenes, Jon and I and my family were going through one of the toughest things we have ever gone through (I am working on a post about it that I will finish and share soon). It really shows that photos can be deceiving. We had just found out some devastating news just two days before these photos were taken. Jon and I decided that we wanted to try to keep as busy as possible to keep our minds off the worst, so visiting Moncton was an obvious choice. My sister's kids are super high energy, and I really am grateful to them for keeping me preoccupied for a lot of this past summer while Jon and I were dealing with everything. My niece especially just really helped me from letting my mind wander to what was happening all the time. Jon and I still cried every night when we were alone, but for the most part, during the days, we tried to be normal.
(this was supper at the hotel. no room service...)
(ready for the zoo)
(looking at otters maybe)
(chilly snacks at my sister's house)
(Swimming. Cohen spent the whole time on the stairs leading into the pool. Graycie was into me pulling her all around the deeper area)
I love these kids so much. I feel such a connection to my niece and nephew, and LOVE being their auntie. In a lot of ways these three kids helped our family through this year by just being happy and high energy and busy. On this trip, as soon as I saw my sister, I sat her down and managed to tell her what was going on with us. Like I said, we had just received the bad news a few days before. She was like, ok, so why don't I take Cohen and you and Jon can be on your own and get some rest and talk. I was like, no, what we need is to not be alone, and to be busy and to keep our minds off this. And she basically made it her mission to make sure that happened for the whole summer. She came down pretty much every week, sometimes twice a week, and hung out with us all the time. Sometimes I would fall asleep in the middle of the living room while playing with the kids, and she would quietly bring all the kids outside so I could get an hour of sleep. She listened to me without crying (much), which was really what I needed. She never judged, and never gave me advice, and never told me it was going to be ok. She just listened, and asked questions, and that's it. For me, there is nothing worst than someone saying it's all going to be ok, when it's not. For a long time. It's such a relief when someone says, that sucks, that is going to be terrible, I can't believe you have to go through that. I'm here for you.
I really feel like I need to write about our experience in a lot of detail, because Jon and I still think about it and run the whole thing through our heads all the time, and maybe writing it all down will help me. And maybe it will help someone else in the same situation. More to come...