When I was getting my nails done beside the other bridesmaids for the wedding last weekend, my manicurist started talking about her love life. She has the worst luck. She has never ever dated a decent guy. So she just keeps dating losers and spends her money partying in Las Vegas and Miami with her girlfriends who are slowly getting married. She asked me about my situation. I told her about Jon, how he is definitely the most attractive guy I know, and super fun, sensitive, the works. And I'm married to him. "Lucky!", she said. Then I was reading this article about being lucky.
And I was quick to tell her, nope. Not luck. First of all, the odds of meeting a "quality guy" (her words, not mine) in Vegas or Miami at a nightclub are maybe a lot lower than in an education program with an acceptance rate of 1:100 (or whatever). So for me to even have met Jon involved me working my ass off for 5 years after high school to get into grad school. And it involved me dating lots of not-as-great guys, and spending a long lonely year with no romantic interests at all. All the stuff I went through before meeting Jon kinda primed me to meet Jon and fall in love with him and ultimately marry him. No luck. Though I do feel lucky.
When think about my closest friends, it's a similar story. Very few of my friends had an amazing guy fall into their laps in their early twenties. Instead, it seems like my friends have focused hard on careers and education, and ended up meeting the good guys in doing that. For my friend the nail tech, I'm thinking that all her traveling and enjoying life will slowly lead her to the right guy for her. Maybe that's called luck, or maybe not.