My February library list

When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Harold Kushner. 4/5. So this book is written by a rabbi who lost his son at a young age after a long illness. 

A couple things that stuck out for me: 

- When someone has something bad happen to them, never ever say anything that might seem like you are blaming them or God. Like if someone's parent dies, I am pretty sure they don't want to hear that "it's God's will" or "God must know you are strong enough for this burden." Also if someone is getting a divorce, definitely don't ask them if they were having enough sex or talking enough or going on enough date nights. That's the last thing someone wants to hear. So I loved the chapter about how to talk to people who are dealing with tough life stuff

- Prayers. Praying has always rubbed me a little the wrong way (asking God to fix things for you feels weird to me). BUT. I think they are so helpful in making the person who is praying feel better. And I think sending good vibes to people is actually helpful. Which I guess that's what prayers are? For years I have been sending good vibes to my friends and family. Maybe I was actually praying that whole time. 

- The main thing I got from this book is that God's main way of helping is sending people. So when you are super down and feeling totally screwed, God will send you people who will help you. It's some sort of guarantee. I have found that to be so totally true. When we were about to terminate my pregnancy, I had just started at out clinic, and so had 12 brand new coworkers. And with one, I just broke down. And she said she knew how I felt. And I said, well, no, you couldn't know unless you had to terminate a pregnancy due to a medical issue. And she had done exactly that ten years earlier. I remember being shocked that someone who went through my exact situation landed right in front of me just when I needed it. 

She Came to Slay by Erica Armstrong Dunbar. 4/5. This was a kind of info book about Harriet Tubman. Of course I learned about her in school, but it was cool to get a refresher and learn a little more. I didn't remember that she had epilepsy from a head trauma. She believed that whenever she fell asleep, she was getting direct orders from God, so she was really grateful for her sleeping spells. Also she was taking care of a newborn at the age of five because her parents had to work all day long. And I never really knew the story of her working during the civil war for the Union army. Super interesting. 

White Rage by Carol Anderson. 4/5. I read White Fragility, which is more explaining what systemic racism is. This book was different. It was really a history lesson about slavery in the US and what came after slavery that was basically still slavery. This book felt really really well-researched, like the best textbook ever. The thing that I'll still thinking about is this: Black people in North America can't possibly have any kind of generational wealth. They were not allowed to own anything or really have any freedoms until very recently. Very recently. For Black people, for sure their great grandparents had less than nothing. For some white people, maybe that is also true, but it had nothing to do with the colour of their skin. There is no comparison. I think everyone should read this book and probably at least ten other books about the history of systemic racism. PS: Canada is not all cool when it comes to racism. More on that in the future. 

My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell. 5/5. Some books keep me up at night thinking about them. This was one of those books. I was reminded of a time in my life when I was a teenager and an older man I knew really well asked me to come into his office and look at his computer screen. Which was open to a website with naked women. It felt so weird and horrible, and this book made me realize he was testing me to see if I would act cool about it. And I just really think that absolutely no one can judge what a teenage girl does when an older man in a position of power does weird unacceptable stuff like that. Twenty years later, and I still cringe about that moment.