Our oldest kid has been doing sleepovers for a few years now with family members and also with one friend of his who we know really well. When Will grew out of his crib last year, I was so excited to move the bed situation around in our house so Cohen could have a double bed in his room for sleepovers (until now, we would blow up a little mattress on his floor).
I was telling a family member (not in my immediate family) about our new improved sleepover situation. They said they wouldn't recommend having kids who aren't siblings sleep together in the same bed. I was like, huh? Why not? I have slept in the same bed with so many of my friends so many times. I mean, they are the same age, and they are little kids. But this person didn't grow up like me. They had to sleep in the same bed with friends and cousins sometimes due to situations I couldn't even dream about (like because a guardian was just gone for days on end, so a friend or relative had to step in). And this person had been in situations where they felt forced to cuddle, touch, etc another kid their own age who was probably just physically curious or maybe lonely or whatever.
I'm telling you, that never ever crossed my mind in a million years. Of course, I don't actually think that would happen in my house where J and I are super involved with our kids and keep a really close eye on them and their friends. And also in school now they learn about their body and consent and stuff so early. BUT. I just want everyone to feel safe and comfortable in our house. And when I think more about it, there are lots of times where two people sleeping in two separate beds is better than two people sharing one bed. Examples in my own life include my brother-in-law and his dad, my separated in-laws who still travel together sometimes, Cohen and his female cousin. Even if a couple of my girlfriends were spending the night, they would for sure prefer to have their own bed.
I think we have all had these lightbulb moments this past year (#BLM, #metoo) where we learn something that just completely changes the way we see the world. I love learning more and trying to be better. So now, our guest room is a pair of twin beds, and I actually think it looks way better. I am no decorator, so it's pretty basic, and also we did it on a budget so we just used a lot of what we already had (who would have guessed cushions can be so expensive!!). We aren't really having any guests right now, but we are so ready to have sleepovers as soon as it's safe.